Over some 20 years, Lavinia provided my second go at trying to sort out some long-standing
issues which kept taking me back into some very, very dark places. I did not know exactly
why I felt like I did but previously, others had failed to connect with me to help me break
through to some resolution. Out of my military environment, people did not act as I thought
they should and expected, and my self-esteem had plummeted to an all-time low.
Therefore, before meeting Lavinia, I had been left skeptical and let down. However, on
meeting her, I felt I had to give her a chance – for me.
From the start, she seemed to want to understand without judgment or have any
preconceived ideas. As we explored my stuff together, I soon picked up that she was really
listening, taking on-board important but also (to me) minor points, analyzing, promoting and
knitting them together, pulling together a picture over a few weeks that for the first time,
started to make some sense to me.
For me, a huge element that supported my progress was that the NHS program seemed
to be provided under a rationed period of time – Lavinia pushed against that and in the end, I
was given the time I needed and it was for me to elect a completion, rather than being left
floundering had my allotted time had been reached.
She eventually gained my trust and her searching but meaningful questions linked with stuff
that we had maybe talked about weeks before, but I had forgot. She listened, processed
and then suggested some reasons as to why I was feeling the way I was. I still questioned
and remained sceptical until her credibility won me over and she followed with reasoned
guidance – always without pressure.
I now understand more why I feel the way I do and have some strategies with which to
positively move forward – which I have done.
Wg Cdr S R